I had an interesting conversation over dinner with my friends Rai and Mendy.  We started out by talking about a movie that all of us watched: The Last Kiss.  Mendy watched it with a group of other girls and had told us before watching it that she hated it.  So of course that made me and Rai very interested in it.

We brought the movie back and watched it… and our general consensus was that it was a very good movie.  It’s strange how differently us, as guys, reacted to this movie as opposed to a group of girls.  Basically, what I took from this movie is that everyone goes through stages in life in terms of what they are looking for in a relationship.  Different people go through these stages at different speeds.  In order for a relationship to work, I mean really work, the two people need to be at the same stage in their life.  Also, relationships can fall apart if one person moves onto the next stage before the other person is ready.

That is exactly what The Last Kiss is about.  It is about what happens when two people are at different stages of their lives.  Some people are just looking for a fling.  Some people are looking to live with someone and really get to know what they are like before committing to them.  Some people are looking to travel around or explore life in the single world.  Some people want to settle down, have kids, have a house, and really just dig in.

Finally, I think some people just grow up way too fast.  Certain events can accelerate this… one of them is having a baby.  Many people think that having a baby automatically means that both people should want to settle down, have kids, have a house.  This is where the problem lies.  People still have to go through the phases.  Even if there is a baby on the way, rushing it will end up hurting the relationship.

One character in the movie has already married and has a child with his wife.  The problem is that the wife automatically assumed that taking care of the baby meant that there was no reason to upkeep the relationship.  She put the baby ahead of the relationship with her husband.  Every relationship needs to be maintained.  The fact that the wife neglected her husband meant that they fell out of love.  The wife had transitioned to a stage where all she needed was the baby.  The husband hadn’t.

So this all comes back to my life in the end.  As I stated in my last post, I finally found someone that I really feel comfortable with.  What I realized is that we are similar in many ways, but we still have many differences.  More important than anything is the fact that we are at the same stage of our lives.  We both love traveling, and we both want to see more of the world.  We both have goals and ambitions that we are passionate about and that we are willing to take risks to achieve.

My friend Mendy asked what my plan is with my girlfriend, Angel, after I leave San Francisco in three months.  I told her that we are both travellers, we are both risk takers, and we are both pursuing our dreams.  We are taking a risk on this relationship… knowing full well that it will lead into a long distance relationship.  Somehow, in the end, we are willing to take the risk and find out what will happen.  It fits our personalities, and it fits our stage of life.  It’s better to try and find out, than to never try at all and never know for sure.

I’m willing to give this relationship a go.  I do like her, and she likes me.  If it is meant to be, we will find a way.  We may travel together, we may travel apart, but only time can tell us the answers.