It’s a constant battle for me.  There are those lucky few that never have to fight this battle… that never have to make the choice: the choice between people and place.  Many people have told me that it’s not the place that matters as long as you are with the right people.  I used to think exactly the same thing.  Now I realize that people can make a good place better.  People can make a bad place bearable.  But, without both the people and the place, you will not be happy.

I read this article recently about what makes a city a happy place.  I guess there is this emerging research being done on how to measure “happiness.”  I find it really intriguing.  It seems that place does have some factor in determining the happiness of the people who live there.

So I’m in a dilemma.  I have the choice to move to a place that I really love.  A place that makes me happy just by being there.  I have friends there too, but I can make friends wherever I go.  What is tough is that Angel is up here, in a place that I don’t feel as happy in.  Can I ever be as happy here as the place I want to move?  Will I be happy if the person who makes me happiest is not with me in the place that makes me happiest?  Will I be happy if I am with the person who makes me happiest but I am not in the place that makes me happiest?  Is it even possible to have both at the same time?

These are the questions that have been bugging me recently.  I don’t have the answer, but I will be forced to make a decision soon.  I am like a scientist, trying out different things and experimenting.  Luckily, Angel is also experimental and understands that experimenting means that you will reach a lot of dead ends before you figure out the formula that works.  I’m so lucky I am with someone that will be with me to figure things out together.  There just aren’t many people like that in the world.

I’ve determined that Singapore is a “Look, But Don’t Touch” society.  What do I mean by this?  It’s purely in reference to the people.  A lot of people have said that Singaporeans are attractive.  I’m a bit biased because beauty on the outside means very little to me.  I’m much more attracted to interesting personalities… people with dreams, ambitions, and risk takers.  So in terms of the Singaporeans themselves, the girls seem to spend so much time making themselves look pretty, and so little time actually making their personalities pretty.  So for me, I find the girls extremely ugly here.  For others, they think that they are in paradise.

So what do I mean by the don’t touch part?  Well take a look at these statistics:

Lovers in Japan are the least amorous, having sex just 45 times a year. Nations among the least sexually active include Singapore (73), India (75) and Indonesia (77)

~Durex Global Sex Survey 2005

I think that is self explanatory.  Singaporeans have less sex than vacations I take in a year!  I’m sure some people are just fine with a society like this… but honestly, it’s not for everyone.  I’m sure you can just chalk this up to cultural differences, but to me, there is something really wrong about the way people interact in this city/state.

I have a wierd concept of home. My “home” is the U.S. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I went to school. But it’s not where I belong. Being in Singapore makes me realize that Singapore isn’t where I belong either. I have to go home.

I hope I can find my way back there someday.