Sometimes I wonder how much of someone’s life is the culture they come from and how much is of their own making.  Being American, I’ve always been brought up to believe that you are what you make of yourself… no one, not family, not friends, not society can tell you who you are and dictate your life decisions.  But, I meet people every day that tell me that “You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be X” (insert culture or race in the X) or  “You don’t understand what it is like to have so much responsibility” or “You grew up in such a priveleged society, so you have no idea.”

It really bugs me when people say that.  For one, they have given up on the idea of explaining their choices and decisions.  I’ve always believed that every decision in life needs to have a logical reason behind it.  It just has to make sense.  When someone can’t explain why they are doing something, it just makes me think that they don’t really care about themselves or their dreams.  I still strongly believe that you are what you make of yourself.  Everyone likes to tell you how to live your life or that you need to do such and such.  If you listen to all of that, then of course you are going to feel like you have great responsibilities.  If you do the much harder thing and listen to yourself, then the responsibility is only to yourself.

I would say that a staggeringly high percentage of people I know (nearly 90%) can’t convince themselves that if they really want something, they can get it, and they can get it right now.  People are really good at giving excuses… and not many people are good at doing anything.  Growing up in the U.S. isn’t about being priveleged, it’s about being taught that if you have a dream, you go after it… responsibilities or not, what matters is the journey.

I know this isn’t the case in other countries, and I often wonder if I had grown up in other countries if I would think just like the people I know from these countries.  Would I feel that responsibility takes precedence over personal fulfillment?  Somehow, I feel this part of me is so core to who I am that I would feel the same even if I had grown up in a “less priveleged” society.  Then, these people couldn’t use the excuse that “You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to have so much responsibility.”  You define your own responsibilities.  The responsibilities don’t define you.